Consulting is a Relationship Business! I don't know how many times I've said those words but they are so true. This week's article is a true story and one I've heard many a time.

“What is all this relationship building management stuff about?”

As I listened to a struggling consultant, her voice illuminated her high frustration level. People were not interested in her services. She felt she was spinning her wheels.

I asked her to recount a recent meeting with a potential client from the initial connection to the "great to meet you" and "next step" close. As I listened, it was apparent that instead of taking time to get to know them or letting them get to know her, the meeting was all about her and her services.

She wasn’t investing in deliberate relationship building. She was trying to sell her and her services.

Much of a business consultant’s success ties to how well a consultant builds and maintains trusted business relationships with clients, potential clients, influencers, and partners.

Unfortunately, many of us were not taught how to build or manage those relationships. Oh, maybe when you were young someone taught you how to sell a physical product such as cookies, candy, or magazines, but what if the product is you? How do you sell you?

There is a proliferation of books and articles on relationship building as well as books and articles discussing the business of you and you as the brand. There are build relationships checklists galore to assist you. As a business owner, there is a good chance that you’ve received your share of emails about how a particular CRM (Customer Relationship Management) software application could help you get clients.

I am an introvert. I would love to have a software application manage my personal relationships. However, relationship building requires you to personally connect with someone and get to know one another individually. There is a personal aspect to building trusted relationships and I can’t figure out how a software application can take the place of a human being. If you know how, please let me know.

If you are not sure what I mean by trusted relationships, consider checking out “Is TRUST the Glue in Your Business Relationships?”

Here is my response to the struggling consultant who just happened to be a top-notch project management professional.

Okay, you’re not a project management professional but if you have managed a consulting engagement (or project) you know the importance of communicating, impact of positive relationships, and overall TRUST on the success of the initiative.

We continued the conversation by discussing the five stages of a relationship and how to think about developing a relationship strategy. I also provided five immediate actions the consultant could take.

1. Become interested in the person. Take the time to understand them. What’s important to them and why? How do they communicate? What is the best way to engage them?

2. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Some people say “you need to give to receive.” Other people say adapt a “customer-oriented mindset.” Here are my words:

3. Own the communication. Take responsibility for communicating with the person. Determine what information you want and need to share as well as determine what information is not of interest to the person. Ensure you complete the communication loop so that you know the person not only heard you but understands your message.

If you are not sure what I mean by communication loop, consider checking out Eliminate YOUR Communication Stumbling Blocks-Be Heard?

4. Master awkward relationships. Everyone has their strengths and they also have their weaknesses. Combined, these characteristics can result in awkward relationship situations. Is the person you are engaging a brilliant strategic thinker who struggles to verbally communicate but can clearly articulate a concern in writing? Maybe the person vanishes when there is a problem that they don’t want to confront, even if they need help. Or maybe still, the person doesn’t want to admit they don’t know something.

5. Create plans for key professional relationships. It would be helpful if you could create an individual plan for every relationship, but that is not realistic for many of us. Instead, create a strategy for each key professional relationship (people that are part of your targeted outreach strategy) and create a generic strategy for everyone else. Classify the nature of your key relationships by noting if they are your ideal client, affiliate, referral partner, or good acquaintance. Capture the interesting information about each person and ways to master an awkward relationship.

I want to be clear. I don’t disapprove of CRM applications but they are not a relationship panacea. A CRM application is a tool like spreadsheets are a tool.

To use the tool to best effect, you, the craftsman, must understand the concepts behind using the tool. CRM applications and spreadsheets help you track information with the goal of saving time and helping achieve efficiency. Over many years, I’ve used CRM applications as well as spreadsheets to build and manage meaningful and trusted relationships but the tool never takes the place of the people element.

This week’s question…

As always, thank you for taking the time to read this article.

Laura Burford

The Consulting Jumpstart program’s weekly topic group discussions are back.

During the first quarter of 2023, there are 7 plus weeks of group discussions on creating and executing your own relationship strategy with the goal of helping you get clients. These group discussions are in addition to the weekly clinics and all of the material.

If you are interested in hearing more about the program, here is a link to more information on the program OR better yet, schedule time on my calendar.

Laura Burford

P.S. Mention you heard this message on LinktoEXPERT & receive a Free Gift!