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In "I Got It From Here" you share deeply personal experiences. What motivated you to write this memoir, and what do you hope readers will take away from your story?
I’ve always felt a pull towards healing and a desire to connect with others in a way that inspires them to do the same. I never imagined I would do so by writing a book. It just so happens that’s how my journey unfolded.
I spent the darkest years of my life battling with my ex-husband for custody of our young sons. Oftentimes, throughout the ordeal, I sensed a little ball of light flickering in the distance of my mind. I know that sounds weird, and I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it was trying to get my attention. Of course, I ignored it and kept my focus on the drama at hand. I shared my painful story with anyone who would listen. You should write a book, some would say. The light would flicker, and from somewhere deep within a soft, still voice would whisper, yes.
I tossed the idea around in my mind for several years before I ran it by a close contact in the publishing industry who discouraged me from writing it. He tried to convince me no one would be interested in my story because I wasn’t a celebrity. Dream squashed. Story left untold. But the whispering yes lingered.
The universe must have known I needed a nudge, it delivered one from a radiologist. You have invasive breast cancer. My first thought was my children, I feared I would leave them too young. My second thought was the book, I feared I would die without having written it.
Soon after my treatment, I sat down to write. The story poured out of me; the words seemed to flow through me. So did the tears. I knew I wasn’t the only woman who needed to release the past and begin again. I knew other women would relate to my raw honesty. I decided to share my story with the world in the hope that it would help others heal.
Your memoir involves family and marital elements. Could you discuss the role of heritage and tradition in shaping your narrative, and how these elements influenced your life's trajectory?
I shushed my inner voice as a little girl in the 1970s and lived according to the senseless protocol of my Italian relatives in Queens, NY. I was surrounded by identical brick townhomes occupied by cousins and friends whose families behaved just like mine yet judged each other for doing so. I learned to keep up appearances, but behind closed doors my parents’ toxic marriage served as a blueprint for dysfunction. My emotional well-being was collateral damage of their troubled minds. A lack of love from my narcissistic father left me empty and desperate. Rage that erupted from my frustrated mother forced me to conform. Believing I was alone in my anguish made me think there was something wrong with me. Desperate to fit in and be loved, and trained to believe marriage was the ultimate symbol of success, I ignored glaring red flags and married a man I did not love.
I lost precious years of my life trying to escape from my ex-husband’s abuse. I struggled like a madwoman, unable to break free. The more I tried the worse things seem to get. I was a broken girl trying to fix my problems from the same brokenness that caused them. I kept at it, proud of my ability to persevere. Surviving felt like thriving, chaos and dysfunction felt like home.
Distressing circumstances and dysfunctional relationships kept showing up in my life until I was literally on my knees begging for peace. That’s when I found A Course in Miracles. One of my favorite quotes from the Course is:
“Let me look on the world I see as the representation of my own state of mind.”
Whatever I was experiencing externally was simply showing me what was going on internally. That wasn’t easy to accept at first, but once I did, I took back ownership of my life.
Memoirs often resonate with readers on a universal level, despite their unique individual stories. What universal themes or lessons do you believe readers will connect with in "I Got It From Here" regardless of their own backgrounds?
Readers will connect with the suffering that comes from ignoring gut feelings and denying oneself. They will be empowered to listen to their inner voice and follow their inner guide.
Readers will recognize patterns of generational trauma and be motivated to break dysfunctional cycles in their own families.
I hope the ending inspires readers to take an honest look within and humbly begin their healing journey.
The themes of my book very much reflect the mission of my coaching practice, Protagonist Within LLC. “In order to be the Protagonist of your story you must look Within to heal.”
Memoirs often involve a process of reflection and introspection. How did writing about your life help you understand your own journey and identity as the "I Got It From Here"?
When I first sat down to write my book, I thought it would be an angry, vindictive telling of what my ex did to me. But as I feverishly typed away, it turned out to be a cathartic release of the past. I came to realize my mental and emotional state, my thoughts, and my nervous system were what caused my angst. The story had always been mine; I was the protagonist. And the protagonist gets to decide how the story unfolds. It’s empowering to take back ownership of your life. It’s a beautiful moment when you learn to trust your inner voice and confidently say, “I Got It from Here”.
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